I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
