So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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