Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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