totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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