Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
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