i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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