My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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