Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
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