I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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