Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
smell my finger.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
