One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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