I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
