I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
