She's JV to your varsity
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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