Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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