Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
