Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
