i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
