me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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