Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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