I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
