Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
