very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
