I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
