I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My ass is underappreciated
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
