I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Drunk is a universal language darling
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
