i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize