I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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