2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
