Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
