I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
