i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
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