i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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