you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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