Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
