I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my shit smells like andre
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
