it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
