If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
