Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
