I need help removing her.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
