i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
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I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
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He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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