This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
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the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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