I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
