Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
