:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
