Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
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I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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