my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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