idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
