Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Randomize
