okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
