You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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