found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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