I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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